I read that “The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us, but those who win battles we know nothing about ”
Today is October 10th.
It is World Mental Health Day.
I have struggled for many years with depression and not many people knew that.
I laugh a lot
I sing always
I whistle loudly at work in the washroom and in the staircase, because it sounds more beautiful in those areas
I take many happy pictures
I hug my dogs a lot
I talk & sing to them on a daily basis
Once in awhile when my children passes by me
I like to touch their arm for a quick second
Or hold their hand
Just to feel a connection without words
I write and do a lot of thinking
I’m a deep person
These are all my good days
My bad days
I want to be invisible
I don’t want to see anyone
I can’t laugh
I can’t love
I don’t want to wake up
I want to sleep
I want to turn off all the lights and be in the darkness
Alone
I hate myself
I’m worthless
I’m not enough
For anyone
For myself
My body is numb
And I cry at 3am and wonder why I’m crying
I look at my food and I cry
I look at family and I hold it in
Now I’m better
I’ve never felt stronger in all my life
The self awareness I have is amazing
The self love I have blows me away
I look in the mirror and I love myself
I seek those who bring joy to my life
I have people who get me
People who understand me
I sought professional help
And I am better
So much better
I believe in myself
And I have accepted all that’s meant to be in my life
And pushed aside all things that are triggers and stressors
I have found my happy place within myself
And when I feel like I’m slipping
I tell myself I Am ENOUGH
I’ve learned to be gentle with myself and am living the best way I can
I no longer believe everything I think.
#worldmentalhealthday
