Don’t Believe Everything You Think

I read that “The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us, but those who win battles we know nothing about ”

Today is October 10th.

It is World Mental Health Day.

I have struggled for many years with depression and not many people knew that.

I laugh a lot

I sing always

I whistle loudly at work in the washroom and in the staircase, because it sounds more beautiful in those areas

I take many happy pictures

I hug my dogs a lot

I talk & sing to them on a daily basis

Once in awhile when my children passes by me

I like to  touch their arm for a quick second

Or hold their hand

Just to feel a connection without words

I write and do a lot of thinking

I’m a deep person

These are all my good days

My bad days

I want to be invisible

I don’t want to see anyone

I can’t laugh

I can’t love

I don’t want to wake up

I want to sleep

I want to turn off all the lights and be in the darkness

Alone

I hate myself

I’m worthless

I’m not enough

For anyone

For myself

My body is numb

And I cry at 3am and wonder why I’m crying

I look at my food and I cry

I look at family and I hold it in

Now I’m better

I’ve never felt stronger in all my life

The self awareness I have is amazing

The self love I have blows me away

I look in the mirror and I love myself

I seek those who bring joy to my life

I have people who get me

People who understand me

I sought professional help

And I am better

So much better

I believe in myself

And I have accepted all that’s meant to be in my life

And pushed aside all things that are triggers and stressors

I have found my happy place within myself

And when I feel like I’m slipping

I tell myself I Am ENOUGH

I’ve learned to be gentle with myself and am living the best way I can

I no longer believe everything I think.

#worldmentalhealthday

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