The house that built me – A Journal Entry – February 2022

We moved into this house with a big beautiful tree out front that blooms beautifully in the spring in 2009,  and on February 20th we will pick up our last boxes and look around its empty rooms.

Moving out of this house will be very sad for me and for all of us.

I went through many emotions with the process of selling this house. The preparation of getting the house in ready mode and finally having the lock box on our door realizing that soon strangers will walk through our door and visualize themselves living in my house.

In this house came many lessons through out the years.

I became to know that I love hosting parties. We threw so many celebrations and hosted many birthday parties and Christmas toasts and Thanksgiving dinners and even no-reason-sit-down dinners; just an excuse to bring out my fancy plates and golden cutlery. I really loved to set my table and watch the beauty of  a gorgeous table setting come to life.

Sitting by the table with my children and their better halves gave me so much happiness and joy; I could always rewind happily in my mind. This was the house that built me.

In this house the children came and went, back and forth through their transformation in life. From grade school to College to University to moving out to having relationships and then coming back and then moving out again.

It taught us strength and growth and unity and love and togetherness; no mater what.

Tears, screams, laughter , joy, the barking of Mr. Tyberious and LouLou, excitement, and silence; the walls have heard it all.

In my house I welcome those with good intentions; some I have no choice but to welcome, some I welcome with open arms. In this house I love to fill it with good food and loud music. I love to hear laughter and children’s little footsteps running amuck.

I love my deck where I took all my photoshoots for the gram and I love my kitchen where Papa and I cook a lot.

I love my study where many times such as now, I’m writing as the music fills the house.

I love my living room with the large Bay windows where Mr. Tyberious monitors everyone passes by and lets them know he’s watching them; day and night, night and day and in between that.

During the past few years with Covid lock downs, I’ve been in and out working remotely prior to retirement. This house didn’t make me depressed because I loved it. It was the situation that made me feel isolated. The not being able to go back to work and be with anyone or go anywhere. Not this house.

So as I begin to pack our things and go from one room to the next, I replay all the moments I’ve had in this house that built me.

The happy moments and the sad ones. The stressful times when you think the problems will never stop, but you know you will conquer them, it just takes time. The pins and needles when your  grown children takes their first trip out of the country and you’re scared to death they’ll never come back, but of course they do!

The moments when you’re alone on the deck watching the stars late at night as you enjoy the late summer’s breeze.

Or the times when you’re dancing around the house with the music blasting as Mr. Tyberious excitedly prancing along with you.

The days are slipping by in this house…

Since September 2021 we’ve been searching for houses and it has been tiring and an emotional rollercoaster ride for me. The market was starting to rise up in price and bidding wars was just beginning, but not quite up there as they are currently. Currently it is insane!

Let me tell you a story:

Beach House Port Hope

I fell in love with this quaint house instantly because it backed onto the beach! Those who know me, yes, it was definitely ME! It had 3 small bedrooms, a good size main floor, the kitchen was small, the basement nil and scary and the house was in need of renovations asap; top to bottom. I didn’t care because we could renovate it, I really loved the area and the beach is in my backyard, let’s do this!

Submitted the offer on the offer date, lets say there were many offers and I aggressively made the highest offer.

The seller stated that they wanted the house to ‘go to the right people” as quoted by their agent! I was floored and so what did I do? I cried. Okay so I’m crying now as I write this.

I was devastated. Okay still crying.

Can you read between the lines?

What am I saying here? What did they imply here? Did they know what we looked like? Were they watching us from afar? Did they read my surname and decided right from there? Please note I am married to a Guyanese man, so I have a Guyanese surname.

Outcome: They went for the lower offer.

I cried.

The End of that story.

My daughter: “It’s okay mommy, something better will come along, this house wasn’t meant for you.”

So here’s another story:

Hill Top House Port Hope

A beautiful 2 bedroom home, with a narrow kitchen that you can’t even fit my dining room table in. Nice basement. A gorgeous backyard with a view of Lake Ontario and lots of matured trees. The frontage is also beautiful. Lots of privacy. Lots of acreage. Been on the market for awhile, they refused last offer.

I made an offer.

Their agent went back and told last offer “hey we have a current offer would you like to make your last offer stronger?”

I made an aggressive offer better than theirs…

Outcome: They went with lower offer even though mine was higher, because their move in date was 2 weeks earlier.

I cried all over again.

Can you imagine the frustration and the actual fear that was building up in my core system? I was actually  scared to even bid on another house. This is really ridiculous and insane. I was so angry and beside myself.

The Lake House – Prince Edward County

The blue house did not obstruct the view of the shimmering lake with the swans swimming oh so beautifully in the winter wonderland.

I ran towards it, not caring to go inside the house but floated towards the water, calling out to me. I was in awe as Papa knew I was instantly in love. The echoes of my laughter filled the stillness of the blizzard that day. It was freezing and I stood there mesmerized by the beauty of the lake as thick snowflakes covered my hair.

Eventually, I wandered inside the blue house and was greeted by two beautiful cats. One orange, one grey with beautiful eyes. They followed me as I visited their house. Purring against my legs I looked out at the lake  through the walkout basement sliding doors and I knew this was the one.

I made the offer and held my breath for a couple of days and waited for the call.

Outcome: Owner of a Lake house in Prince Edward County, it came with a Pontoon and paddle boat and kayak.

My Daughter: “See mommy! See!!”

I cried some more.

Though this house is not lavish in square footage, it backs onto the waterfront and it is exactly that;  a Lake house,  and I feel blessed to have found it.

We have plans to renovate as we see fit and who knows what the future holds, but for now, the Lake house is where you shall find me. The peace and solitude I’ve always sought.

We are sizing down into our next chapter and I feel at peace here the moment I stepped out of the car and onto the property.

I could see us now, enjoying our cup of coffee every morning by the lake, watching the sunrise and the sunset.

So as you can see it was so emotional for me and unbelievable. I really woke up and I was sad and mad and scared all at the same time. This process I will never forget! The racism I cannot prove but there hidden and lingering in the shadows…

As for now, we’re moving out Feb 20th and into my daughter’s condo downtown and then moving into the Lake house March 15th.

I’m so excited to explore Prince Edward County and cannot believe we are going to be living in wine country filled with awesome scenery, delicious foodie places, beaches minutes away, farmers markets… I can go on and on!

In totality  I have lost 6  bidding wars, but those 2 aforementioned (which I fought for and was beyond my budget)

I will never forget..

Until next time.

Thanks for coming by.

Onto our next chapter, our journey begins.

Stay safe always and take care. Xoxo